Kindness is key
I’ve been thinking and talking a lot about kindness and the role it plays in our lives and in our world. It is a powerful way to connect. I always feel good when someone is kind to me and to be honest, I almost always feel even better when I am kind in return. So kindness in my world is not totally altruistic! Does it really matter though how I am motivated to be kind? I just know that it seems to be a win win situation for all!
A kind word or act no matter how small can change a person’s day, lighten their mood or even their mindset. As I have mentioned before, Barbara L. Fredrickson in her research emphasises how acts of kindness, no matter how small have a positive impact on our wellbeing and can be measured in terms of our health.
Kindness can reframe what is going on for someone at any given time and restores faith in the goodness of people. How does this well of kindness keep going though in a world that can often be unkind?
On reflection of this question, I look to the work of Dr. Kirsten Neff, who has started a movement for self-compassion. It seems kindness starts with ourselves. Dr. Neff would say the premise for understanding eachother, resilience and the ability to cope with life comes from showing kindness to ourselves. We can be our toughest critic and we need to give ourselves a break. My mantra to my girls is to be careful what they say to themselves because they are listening! Also, if we let go of other people’s expectations of us we can free ourselves up to be more self-compassionate. Knowing we are not perfect and being okay with that enables us to spread kindness, empathy and help people in all sorts of ways. I think the experience of kindness and being mindful of how we can encourage one another, inspires us to be kind. So I am going to try my best to do what Pope Francis has asked us to do which is….
““Fast from hurting words and say kind words instead”.”